#9. Don't Be A Rebound

09:51:00

I don't believe that people get one rebound. Trust me, I believe in most situations of our lives, were basically filled with rebounds. Perhaps, rebounds or "friends with benefits", to say the least. I know, it does seem fun at first, but then the next thing you know, every one gets hurt.

That's the thing about rebounds, right? They were meant to fill temporary emptiness and lust. They just aren't meant to last. Sure, they keep you occupied for a while, but then you're meant to part ways and to live your own lives.

Of course, no one always plans to be a rebound or find one. Rebounds, can be both healing and detrimental, but that solely depends on the individual's mindset with which one enters such an arrangement. Because at the end of the day, we're all searching for that one right person to spend our lives with.



Rebounds are just like band-aids. They help you cope with the pain of that last heartbreak.

And most of the time, sadly, they're meant to fail.

Why? Because their value lies entirely in their function as an escape from reality; they're meant to help you forget that you're still hurting. It's like a temporary distraction. But the fact remains that your heart is still... broken - rebounds don't put you back together, they just hold you in place so you don't fall apart.

Then soon, you start wanting more. The physical attraction isn't just enough. You don't feel an emotional connection. You start to arrive at the conclusion that this sort of relationship isn't enough. You're unsatisfied. You're going to need more. But you're just not getting it.

It is completely natural, and sometimes difficult to tell whether the person you're dating is "just another guy" or "just another girl", or whether he or she is the real deal. I honestly didn't plan to fill my 2 years of college with rebounds. It's a waste of time, and frustrating. I had "almost relationships" with 2 guys and I went into a potential relationship with the hopes of becoming something serious. Take marriage for one.

Unfortunately, they all didn't work out.

I know what it feels like to be a rebound. You try your best to make the other party happy while they're around. And somehow, it doesn't seem to have a lasting effect. You'd notice that as soon as they part ways, they forget about you. The saddest part about being a rebound is that, you're not their 1st choice. Heck, you're not even their 2nd choice. You're just their last resort.

The darker side of the rebound though is that someone usually ends up falling for the other. It sucks. In my experience, it's usually the woman — not something to be ashamed of at all (if anything it ought to be applauded) — but it can often also be the man. Just because someone is your rebound doesn't mean that you're a rebound to that someone. You may be, but it isn't necessarily the case.

Eventually things fall apart in these situations precisely because one person begins to ask for and expect more from the relationship. This is sort of the moment of truth. Being a rebound, when you start asking for more — the other party might want to give in to you — then it might be the real thing.

If, however, they can't do it, if they know they don't care enough about the relationship to give it a real shot... you should know it's time to call it quits. Otherwise, someone's going to get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

Rebounds are about feeling loved; the real thing is about wanting to love. Every relationship is a rebound of sorts if it doesn't end in love. We're either distracting ourselves from the pain left from a previous relationship or distracting ourselves from the pain that often is everyday life.

The only reason we ought to ever be in a relationship with someone is if we think there is a possibility of the both falling for each other. There is no other respectable reason. Rebounds are only meant to be kept until we're certain they aren't the real thing. You don't always know that someone is great for you right from the start; it sometimes takes time, which is understandable.

Love only when you're ready, not when you want to.

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