#13. In Love With An Atheist


I can never fully describe what love feels like, because the feeling is ...indescribable. You can't understand unless you feel for it yourself. I am a Christian and my other half, Derrick, is an atheist. It's hard for people to digest that. Will our relationship ever work out? I can't tell. I don't know what lies ahead in the future. I can only speak for the present.

Derrick began calling himself an atheist when he was old enough to explore the issues on his own. This may be quite a deal in our country as religion isn't something kept private, but it's safe to say that most of the people he knew were not really religious as they'd like themselves to believe. Derrick isn't outspoken about his non-belief in God, it's something he only tells you if you ask. 

Well, knowing he was an atheist, I still love him. Because it's him. Sure, Derrick owns several books about atheism. Did it matter to me? It should, right? But it didn't, because anyone's allowed to read what they want. And why should it matter when it's something he bought in the past? We obviously have our own different views in life. Yet, as we got closer, we found out that we shared interests and beliefs on just about everything outside the realm of faith.

Honestly, I have learned a lot from Derrick. Through Derrick, I learned that it is possible to be an atheist based on reasoned, logical arguments. It was a well though-out system of non-belief. It wasn't always the result of a bad experience, or a case of teenage rebellion. Naturally, I don't agree with the arguments, but I do admit some of them has merit. And makes me think more.

I understood where my Christian friends were coming from when they heard about us. I mean, I, too, had once believed that deep inside everyone wanted to be a Christian — it was just a matter of having the opportunity to hear the gospel. But it crossed my mind some time that other viewpoints could have merit. Reasons weren’t good enough for me. In church, we were taught that these types of theological conversations stopped with the proper Christian answer... and I guess I questioned too much.

It's neither judgment nor judgment according to the status quo that we have a problem with, but rather judgment according to God's Word that we have a problem with. We sharply dress ourselves, go out into the world, shape ourselves, our personalities according to the world's standards and preferences, allow ourselves to be made dull by the world and its desires in order to appear successful and happy and attractive in the eyes of the world. We love the world's judgment but we hate God's judgment. Absurdly enough, the one that really matters, the one out of the purest of loves rather than a mere contract in hopes of mutual gain, is the one which we so adamantly try to shut ourselves off from.

And at the end of the day, I still love Derrick even though he's an atheist.

Because that's all that matters. I love him, with all my faith.

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