#20. Same Yet Different


Have you ever found yourself picking up an interest that your partner has?

Like, you never planned to. It just happened. And you don't even know how, but their influence is that strong on you. And it feels pleasant, like you’re learning to see things in their perspective; why they love doing those things and such. When you start understanding their interests, I'm sure they will feel happy as well as knowing that you're now like an extension of themselves.

Think about it though, whenever anyone starts a relationship or meets someone, the first thing they want to know is, “What do you have in common?” On the surface, this actually seems like a good question and one that warrants serious thought. The more I think about it, though, and think about Derrick and I, it seems to me that what you have in common is fun, but it is not the most important thing. Unless you're talking about views and perceptions, then some of these has their exceptions. But it's not like Derrick and I share 100% similar interests. 

We both may love to read, but we both like different genres. I would love to read something that is a classic, literature, and tragedy while he loves history, war, and fantasy. And for one, I don't really read fantasy that much. But after hearing how he describes the effort the authors put in in creating a fictional country, map, kingdom, and such... It just sounded so fascinating to me. And now I can't seem to put down this sci-fi and fantasy book called "Otherland". Because he's right, it's mind-blowing how these authors can come up with such astounding ideas. It is so admirable.

We both love to eat. But I think it's safe to say I love to eat more than he does. We enjoy eating together and going out to dinner is one of our favorite things. But when it comes to our the foods we eat, we are total opposites. I love something different, something that is flavorful, also very adventurous and experimental when it comes down to food combination. It's quite hard to satisfy my palate. But he can just eat simple food... same simple food without really getting bored of it. Like how? How can two polar opposites in the food department find common ground? I don't how he's so comfortable in ordering the same dishes. But does it bother me? Well, a little haha. But it's no big deal because he still tries something new off my plate.

He likes them. I can’t stand them. Maybe I don't mind watching a football game or so, but given a choice? Nah, I would prefer to stay home and read. But of course, a guy still has to do what he loves. If he needs to watch sports, it's all cool. I don't have to join him for that. Because it's very likely that I'll be using that good time for me to do my own thing with friends. Like, I have my own sports too, it's called shopping. It really all comes down to how we both compromise for each other.

I am a girl who's an introvert but somehow being a club president has made my social circle bigger than I imagined it to be. So I usually put up this chirpy front when I'm around a lot of friends. Of course I would be just as fine to keep my own company 90% of the time. Meanwhile, Derrick doesn't like too much noise and he is perfectly comfortable in hanging out with 2 or 3 friends. I don't mind that, and he doesn't too. We make it work because we are each other’s close friends. I think I fill that gap he needs and when I need my alone time. And at the end of the day, it's always just him that I'm coming home too.


Guess what I'm trying to say here is that not having things in common is not always a bad thing. It opens doors for both people to explore new options and new ways of thinking. Not having the same interests makes life so much more interesting for you in the long run. Let’s face it, agreeing on everything is pretty mundane, sometimes those differences challenge us to understand each other better.

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