#22. What Is Marriage Anyway?


For as long as I could remember, I have always been told to "wait until marriage". I had no clue of what the "wait" was. It was not until I had to hear "the talk" in fifth grade that I actually found out what this whole waiting thing meant. I heard three different stories: the school video, the parent "talk" and the most vague answer in the world from church.

The only answer that made the most sense to me was what my mother was able to describe in the only way an 8 year old could comprehend.

Essentially the whole idea was this from each story was "Do Not Have Sex Before Marriage".

For the longest time, I became so strict with my values on sex was that same ideal. Then when I came into high school, I was not so sure because that was something that everyone either did or talked about. I found myself conflicted and not sure of what I believed anymore. I wanted to follow my own values but I was not so sure if those were my own values anymore. They were too strict for me because my values were very much who I was, but this one was not. It was too strict for me. You could say I was in quite a pickle.

Essentially, it is wrong to say that once a woman has sex that she is no longer pure, even after she is married. That tells me that no matter how faithful and devoted to God I am, that when I have sex, I will no longer remain pure enough, and that I will be looked down on in God's eyes.

I highly respect everyone's opinion on this matter; you can live your life the way that you want to. But as for me, I believe that you remaining pure is being devoted to your own faith every day, all day. No matter how you practice it, God will love you for your flaws. He will forgive you no matter what. I believe that having sex before you are married is one's own choice to make and their responsibility to take care of when things don't go as planned. Being able to figure out what you enjoy and do not like is normal. If you want to wait, that is fine too. But of course, no one is asking you to sleep around as you wish. Always think of consequences.

Sex before marriage is fine. Sex after marriage is fine too. Just stop saying that remaining pure is the most important reason to not go out and experiment. God will love you no matter what if that is what you are afraid of. Do not be afraid to form your own opinions. Your virginity doesn't define how "pure" you are.

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